It’s wedding season, even though you wouldn’t know it, here in rainy England. Having been to two weddings already in the last 3 weeks, and with another wedding coming up in August, I have been feeling the happiness and love of everyone at these occasions and it’s been amazing to be there and be a part of it.
I have had various discussions at the dining tables with girls including about which nationality makes the best spouse and which men do the most housework – a critical factor in any relationships it seems.
Having been to weddings, and while being extremely happy for my friends, nevertheless has led to the voice in my head to think the thoughts that many a woman my age do, as they hear the proverbial biological clock ticking: ‘When am I going to get married and have kids? I just want to marry the “ONE” and live happily ever after’ is that too much to ask?
These thoughts come along with other existential thoughts, such as ‘I will be happy when I have the said “ONE” with the perfect kids and the house, the car a great social circle and I also want to discover my “PASSION” and make my living doing it whatever that maybe as well as finding the meaning of life.’ When I have all this I’ll be happy, says my brain.
Or will I?
Thinking about it, I guess I would be happy for a while but then I’d take it all for granted again and probably think about the next things I need to be happy.
‘Think of the NOW’ I say to myself trying to follow my own advice and be in the present instead of allowing my fears and thoughts about the future which I can’t control anyway hijack my mind and throw me into the whirlpool of incessant thought.
I do it and it works, for a while anyway, until thoughts come back again and again I have to remind myself to go back into the present where there are no problems, only disidentification from all thoughts and emotions, which makes me feel at peace, as well as being grateful for all the amazing things and people that I have around me right now.
He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” – Epictetus
A piece of relationship advice I recently read was based on the idea of always spending time with the other person in your relationship be it your child, your friend or your lover and just enjoying the moment of being completely with them, being completely, alert, still and present and not wanting anything other than that moment as it is. Not thinking about chores and practical things, but just enjoying connecting with that person on a deeper level and in that way strengthening the bond between you.
Wishing all the newlyweds past and future lots of love and happiness in their journeys together.
Love and peace xxxxx