The strange thing is that I felt like I always had something to do and I didn’t even switch on the TV or radio once. I would cook, eat, clean the house, go for a walk, feed the cat, write, sit in the garden, sunbathe, get water from the well, go shopping in the village, do some yoga, meditate – all solitary pursuits, perhaps dispersed by a couple of hours of a friend stopping by for a visit every other day or so.
I felt reenergised just by being in nature and enjoying the fresh air, I was just enjoying the calm and sense of peace. Then came four days of intense socialising. I had friends staying over and visitors coming to see me, while I loved to see my friends, and when I’m back home I try to see them as much as possible, I also realised that seeing people constantly, no matter how much I wanted to see them, was making me tired and I longed to just be on my own for a while again.
After a few days of socialising I felt that I couldn’t offer so much of myself and I was probably not being such a good companion, because I just felt tired. After just a couple of hours on my own I felt good again, but I still enjoyed the following morning of further solitude.
During my week of being alone, I had lots of time, but I still didn’t get as many personal projects completed as I had hoped. It’s a paradox I think, that often people can fit in more tasks when they are working and generally busy, than when they have lots of free time, because there is always the idea that I can just do this later, that certainly seems to have been the case with me with not having a job for a few months and now being on holiday.
All in all this experience has taught me that I do actually enjoy and need to be on my own, ideally in nature, to recharge and to be able give myself fully to other areas of life, and I have from now on decided to put ‘me only’ time in the diary.