“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” ~Erica Jong

Great quote, I certainly am the one to do this. I have realised that sometimes asking friends for advice, just destabilises you, because usually we already know deep down what the right course of action is and we only want to strengthen support for the decision that we have already made. So if our friends advise us the opposite of what we feel, we don’t like it or it can make us doubt our own judgement.

Decision making has always been hard for me, I mull over things too much, when deep down I often know what the right decision is, but I try to think about things ‘logically’ which only weakens the confidence in my decision, especially if I find ‘evidence’ against what I have decided.

Other times however, when something just feels right, or simply wrong it’s easy for me just to go with it – especially if it’s something that will not have a major impact if it does go wrong.

I often also struggle with what to advise my friends if they ask for advice. Should I be blunt with them and tell them exactly what I feel? Or should I just listen to them even though I think what they are doing/deciding is not right for them.

I have a friend who I like going to for advice, because she often asks me questions which make me conclude the answer on my own, without pushing me in either directions or giving me her direct opinion. This is probably the best type of advice to give, not telling people the straight truth but perhaps making them see the truth for themselves.

To be true to your own self is perhaps the hardest thing of all and in the end it’s not your friends or who will bear the brunt of your decision it’s you and so in the end I think it’s good to listen to people’s advice, but to bear in mind that you are the only person who know what’s best for you, you have the most information about the situation and you are the one who’s life this decision will affect. So it’s only up to you to trust your gut and make that decision.

I was also often afraid of if what if this or that decision is the right one and if I will regret it. It’s possible, but now I feel that once a decision is taken, it’s best not to look back or regret anything, because ultimately you can’t change it and everything happens for a reason, so there is no point of worrying about the past or the future. So as the saying goes, sometimes you have to “make a decision. And then make the decision right.”

About Maia

My name is Maia, I live in London, UK, and I originally come from the Czech Republic. Maia's World is my blog where I write about life in general, personal development, and about ideas, beliefs and discoveries on how to live a fuller life.
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2 Responses to “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” ~Erica Jong

  1. Well said. I find it is harder to escape regret anytime you just let stuff happen, being swayed by people or circumstance. Just by making a conscious decision I think you own what you do and at least if it was wrong then you know what choice you made and why you did it and can learn from it. The worst regret is when you don’t even know why you did something wrong. So I reckon you’re right, it’s probably good to ask friend’s for advice and get different perspectives as long as you make sure that the ultimate decision is your own.

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