Wow what a year it’s been. 2012.
I went through a break-up and I am now single for the first time in what feels like ages. Being single with all its ups and downs feels like I’m remembering something that I experienced long ago and it’s all coming back to me now.
When you’re single, there’s the upside of being able to do what you want when you want, not having to tell anyone what you’re doing, who with and where, and having lots of spare time to devote to your interests.
With time comes clarity and I’m beginning to see more clearly my relationships now that I’ve had time to stand back from them, which is always the case, but you can never see it when you are in them and then suddenly it clears up like a fog and all becomes obvious.
Then there are the lows. I guess every human is always looking for that special someone and it’s an instinct for us to look for someone to love. At the same time though, I’m realising that being single is so much better than being in a relationship that doesn’t work for you. This might seem obvious to some, but it wasn’t always obvious to me.
In the past I’d put off breaking up with someone because I was scared of being on my own. But I realise now, that like with everything, the idea of something is usually worse than the reality. When you make the leap and take things as they come, nothing is as bad as you imagine it will be.
This year, I’ve made some big decisions about work, relationships and my future – which is saying something for me, who would often put off making a decision for as long as possible, but doing it too many times has made me realise that being in state of indecision is worse than deciding something. Spending time in indecision is time wasted and drains away your energy.
There’s no point worrying about the future, because it won’t help, if every time I start worrying I just stop and it’s slowly becoming a habit, and I feel much better for it.
“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used is better than the one to come?” Forty Rules of Love, by Elif Shafak
Merry Christmas everyone, wishing you lots of happiness, health and love for the year ahead.